Setting boundaries and sticking with them

Being bound to being your best. Good boundaries allow us to step into our integrity and show up with greater compassion. When we live a life without them, “we are not really showing up with our most generous, loving self,” because we are not able to, said Kathy Yahr of Still Point, a therapy and counseling practice in Mount Pleasant.

When the boundary feels blurry. “I try to help people get in touch with what is OK and not OK for them,” said Yahr. Boundaries vary from person to person, but we can use this model to help us identify what feels good for us individually. “I can always identify where either I didn’t set a boundary or someone has crossed a boundary that I’ve set,” added Yahr.

Set and spike. When enforcing your own boundaries, vocalize how the person’s action of violating a boundary makes you feel. Share your own values and recognize the intentions of the other person. You can validate what is true for both of you and describe how respecting the boundary will positively serve you and the relationship.

Read about how to say no in order to maintain your boundaries in this article by Molly Sherman.